what to do when your marriage is failing

What To Do When Your Marriage Is Failing

What to do when your marriage is failing? Speed is of the essence when you want to restore a static and love-less relationship. When you see the early signs of your marriage falling apart, the first action step for you is to hit at the root of the problem. Is there anyone else? Is there any shortcoming or failing on your part? Are there other external issues interfering with your marriage? Know them fast, so that you can cope better.

So what are some of the signs of a failing marriage?

  1. Bad communication – Frequent arguments will definitely lead to big fights and because of the bad communication, some couples will avoid talking to each other.
  2. Deteriorating or no sex – Sex is important to married couples because this will keep them as husband and wife. If you are facing difficulties to get close with your spouse, more problems will come by.
  3. Not enough care and concern – If your husband or wife is not giving you enough care and concern, the feeling for each other will slowly fade away and the closeness will not be as strong as before. You begin to feel that you don’t understand your spouse well too.
  4. Affairs – Nobody can stand affairs in their marriage. If one party is suspicious of having an affair, the trust will also be lost.

When you see warning signs of breaking a marriage, you should quickly do something to bring your marriage back to the right track. So here’s what  to do when your marriage is failing?

– When you start to sense that your marriage is falling apart, its extremely important to discuss your concern frankly and openly with your spouse. After all, if the marriage has to work, both of you need to cooperate and make it functional again.

– During the discussion with your spouse, practice restraint – both in action and use of words. Be more of a listener than a talker. Be prepared to hear a host of complaints, list of unmet needs or even hidden grudges – but this is part of the package in the reconciliation process. Unless you know where the problem is, how are you going to solve it?

Seeking help if you are in the wrong, pardoning the spouse when he or she has made mistakes are the two steps for a possible reconciliation. If the marriage is falling apart due to your role in the relationship, you need to take corrective steps immediately and reassure your spouse about your seriousness of achieving your goals to set things right in the marriage.

-When your spouse wants a divorce, and you don’t, it might be time to change your outlook on life. If you have a negative outlook, this might be reflecting on your spouse. He or she might feel frustrated that you have become a negative person / or worse, they might feel that you are taking your frustrations out on him. We all need close people to share our frustrations with, but don’t do it in a way that you’re venting at your spouse’s cost. Change your outlook in life, and appear more active and light to your spouse – “how do I save my marriage alone” is a question with many answers.

-Once a marriage begins breaking down many couples fall into an all too common trap where they start focusing on their partner’s negative qualities and forget their positive attributes. You can typically tell when this happens because the couple will always bicker about the smallest things. That regularly escalates to a large fight where hurtful insults are thrown around. This can be incredibly damaging to the foundation of the relationship.

Make a vow, beginning today, to only focus on the positive qualities that your spouse possesses. Compliment him or her on them more and overlook the things that typically annoy or upset you. If you do this for a few days, you’ll start to notice a change in your attitude and your spouse’s attitude as well. Courtesy and kindness will replace the anger and hurt that was a regular part of your exchanges. This can make a dramatic difference in the dynamic between the two of you and is an important first step towards rebuilding your marriage.

I hope these tips can give you some guidance on what to do when your marriage is failing.

 

kim

Passionate about helping married couples live more happy, harmonious lives.

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